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Fundamental and very basic Sthri Dharmam (Dharmam for women)
A women in reality is a beacon of the existence of Universe. According to our Shastras, women are considered to be Paradevata themselves. A few instances from the Shastras to substantiate this.
- Rituals in Agni cannot be performed without women (sthri).
- In nithya Aupasanam, without sthri the nithyakarma is not complete. Aupasana cannot be performed in the absence of pathni. (Karta says ‘Hoshyami’ and pathni will have to approve by saying ‘Juhoodhi’ to consummate Aupasanam). But if the husband is away, pathni has the right to perform it and make it consummate
- In the Gita, Bhagavan says that if a women is spoilt, the entire kulam – (Lineage) is spoilt. (not if men is spoilt)
- Women has eight times more grasp and mind power than men
- A sin committed by a woman – man shares half of it automatically – the reverse is not true. Likewise half the effect of all the sathkarmas done by purushan including japams etc will be shared by the pathni automatically. You may be reminded of Sri Valmiki Maharishi’s poorva stage when he was a hunter and why He turned as a Rishi.
- Shastras uses the word “Dharma” Pathni – This means, in order for a man to stand on the path of dharma and be an anushtatha, sthri’s help is a necessary ingredient. Without her support (kindly note.. not help) Dharma cannot be brought into anushtanams. (never is a word ‘Dharma’ purushan mentioned anywhere)
- I have heard it, perhaps in The Mahabharata where a women is set to cry and where her tears fall on the ground – the bhumi is considered to be smashaana bhumi. Bhoomata cannot bear this agony.
- There are Pathivrathas in this punyabhoomi where even the Panchabhuthas are waiting to listen to their commands.
- Even without a ‘snanam’ she is considered pure (except where it is specifically required) with just cleansing of face, hands and washing of feet and with tilakam in her forehead
Such is the greatness of women. (We can discuss even more, but I have to get into the Dharma)
Simple and fundamental – very basic rules that a pathni can follow
- As soon as a sthri gets up, she can wash her face, feet, hands etc. – Must have tilakam
- Light the Vilakku (in some sampradayams, they do snanam, but I think generally snanam is not required to light vilakku), by reciting the slokam “Shubham Karothi Kalyanam Arogyam Dhana Sampadhaam, Chatru Bhuddhi Vinaashaaya DeepaJyotir Namosthuthe’
- It is better that the thread (thiri) is changed every day. One may cut it into two or more pieces depending upon the length – enough to burn in the morning and evening comfortably.
- Prostrate in front of the Swami room of the house
Open the main door inviting Sri Lakshmi Devi with folded hands. In their vernacular they can say “Sri Lakshmi Thaayae – Vaa Maa Vaa – Please come – Sri Lakshmi, while SHE is with us all the time, also must be the first guest and host of the day – Daily) – One knows very well why we will not short cut the procedure by carrying the broom while opening the door
- Clean the door step with water and put a good kolam (even though one lives in a flat/apartment etc). Kolam – even simple one will do. (It is suggested that one does the Kolam oneself rather than having a servant maid draw it – children will also imbibe these qualities and the lineage will continue.
- Please grind Kolamavu with proper edible rice because this is the feed for ants and small insects. One’s Annadhanam for the day commences here. ( Sthri is the Anna dhatha not only for humans but also for other species – that’s why she is called Matha for the universe – Remember? Lord Shiva addresses Karaikkal Ammaiyar as ‘Amma’ when He is Ammaiyappan Himself – there is nothing which Karaikkal Ammaiyar woud give anew to HIM, which He does not have)
- Snanam
- Cooking – Before the Agni is lit pray Agni Devata – There are specific prayers in every household – one may learn it from their respective mother/mother in law etc like “Annam malai aaganum………Agnayae Swaha” and they offer two or three grains to the Agni before placing the cooker in the stove. This is the homam for sthris. This is also why sthri is Agni.
- Neiveidhyam – Offer it to God. If sthri does neiveidhyam there is no need of any manthras. Placing it before God and prostrating.
- Before Annam is taken for the family, make sure,a table spoon full of annam is fed to crows. This is an important sthri dharmam. (This is not only pithru preethi, but also Sri.Sanaischara preethi)
- Sthri MUST ask their respective purushan if Sandhyavandanam is done. A sathsthri will understand that it is good for the family. Insistence is good. – Atleast (even though the husband is not doing) for the sake of asking – because, if not immediately atleast at some point in time this will go deep into purushan’s mind and have him do the Sandhya.
- Recitation of Sri Lalithambal Shobanam is very good for the family. Even though it looks long, if practiced, it should not take more than 15-20 minutes. Atleast on Fridays it must be recited.
Source :Kanchi Periva Forum
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