Marriages during nights.

I was told that in Andhra Pradesh marriages are being solemnized during night time muhurthams. Are brahmins there also following this practice? Is this type of marriage acceptable by sastra? Are telugu brahmins living in tamilnadu also following this custom? Why,how,and what for this type of marriages are celebrated?

[R.Varadarajan]

Re: Marriages during nights.

Sir,
I think that they follow calendar other than ours in TN. Lunar? For them Amavasya is a very bad day. Jewellery shops are shut and they do not do anything subham,I think.that day. Night being belonging to the moon, probably they have weddings at night.
But for us we consider it a good day to start something, I am told even Mangalyam can be ordered. I am not very conversant with this systems.,since during working years I had literally very little time for all this.I am spending time on these things only after retirement. May be some Telugu Brahmins can enlighten us on this. Their months start a fortnight or so ahead of ours. Only the Dhanur Masa Aradhana is followed as per our month Margazhi.
Request honourable members to discuss/clarify.
It is better to know the customs of Brahmins of different states, especially,South.
Expecting a good response ,
Varadarajan

[bmbcAdmin]

Re: Marriages during nights.

Sir,
I think that they follow calendar other than ours in TN. Lunar? For them Amavasya is a very bad day. Jewellery shops are shut and they do not do anything subham,I think.that day. Night being belonging to the moon, probably they have weddings at night.
But for us we consider it a good day to start something, I am told even Mangalyam can be ordered. I am not very conversant with this systems.,since during working years I had literally very little time for all this.I am spending time on these things only after retirement. May be some Telugu Brahmins can enlighten us on this. Their months start a fortnight or so ahead of ours. Only the Dhanur Masa Aradhana is followed as per our month Margazhi.
Request honourable members to discuss/clarify.
It is better to know the customs of Brahmins of different states, especially,South.
Expecting a good response ,
Varadarajan

Sri:
Yes, you are correct.
They are following Lunar system of calendar (Panchangam).
I did not come across any objection point regarding (day - night) timings in prayoga shastras.
We are doing it in the day time for our convenience only.
Most of the things done with more importance for convenience than that of shastras in Tamil Nadu.
And I think myself as a brahmin for society and a vaishnavan for myself only (family not included)
so, with my experience, I dare to say, that smarthas (Iyers) are doing according to shastras to a good extent
but vaishnavas are giving more importance for Sampradayam than Shastram.
This is my personal opinion. I beg to submit my apologies in advance to possessive vaishnavas.
The 'Pravesa Homam' after marriage (udhvaha homam) to be done before Sun rise which is specifically mentioned
then only it is possible to have the "Druva, Arunthathi' stars at that time.
Both of my son's marriage (pravesa homam) was done at the prescribed time only.
I wish to remember my Guru here.
It was my bhagyam to have such a great Guru Sri.Ue.Ve.Thirukkannamangai Rajagopalachari swamin
to guide me in this regard.
dasan,
nvs

[P.S.NARASIMHAN]

Re: Marriages during nights.

In north india the entire marriage rituals are completed in about 6 to 8 hours. Starting with Barath, the bride groom arrives, the marriage ritual starts with either mangalya dharanam or exchange of marriage rings, ofcourse with homam etc.,, then dancing, singing etc., and at last dinner, since most marriages are conducted during nights and then off to their residences.

Even in Tamilnadu most of the NB marriages are completed in about half-a-day starting by morning at about 5 or 6 AM and off by 1 P.M.

Only in our brahmin community we serve a lot of eatables under different names during 6/7 times in about 2.5 days. Cant we complete our marriage function in a day if not in hours as is being done by other communities. OMG when are we going to learn simplicity in our marriages. We vie with each other to celebrate our childrens marriages in a grand scale super than others. We must shed this mentality in due course. I am sure most of you will definitely frown on me for this suggestion.

[R.Varadarajan]

Re: Marriages during nights.

Sir,
Already plenty of changes have been made nowadays! If we conduct the marriage in a simple manner,without extreme display of opulence we will save a lot of money. Do you agree with reception held before the Marriage? It has already saved the bride's side and others a day, in the renting of the hall.
50-60- items in dinner,starting with north indian Cholay/pani-puri/papdichat/bhel-puri etc to start with and then move onto dozens of variety of lunch with salads et-al,followed by many sweets,ice-creams,pan etc.
Receptions are more of a noise polluting variety with so called "Kuththu Padalgal" being played and shamelessly elder couples too joining it!!!!
Is this all necessary? Are we not wasting plenty of food when many in our country are begging for food/waiting for the thrown out plates in marriage halls.
And another thing,in TN,marriages are never held at least to my knowledge on the best muhurtham day. A muhurtham on a holiday is the only condition. No one wants to spend his/her/their leaves even for their/their kin's weddings.
Kattusada moottai has become a ten minute affair, with ready made casseroles handed over for kattu sappadu!!!
During Oonjal, earlier only ladies with Madisar were doing the "Pachchaipidi sutral,giving palum pazhamum,etc.,". Now a days it is a fun activity,every one young and old,not in madisar,not in saree but in salwar kameez participater and prolong the event endlessly for nothing.In one marriage i counted not less than 50 doing it. Now for ease of cleaning I found thar each pachchaipidi urundai sealed in a ZIPLOC BAG and then taken around the boy n girl's head and thrown.
Will coloured plastic balls replace them in next Gen?
Will we ever improve? Do we need cinema Kuththupattukkal in a marriage function?
I am disgusted with present trend. Thank God the bride and boy still wear Veshti-Saree.
Reception is a costly Gujarathi fashion dress,spending around 20,000 and never to be worn again!!!
A colossal waste of money and rank display of wealth.
Wish Kalki Avatar comes early to hammer-in good sense in people's head.
Varadarajan

[bmbcAdmin]

Re: Marriages during nights.

Sri:
Dear Sirs,
As we are not willing to allow other community to speak about us, I don't want to discuss about other community.

I suggest the following method for Brahmin Marriage which will be perfect for both Vaideekam and Loukeekam and as well as reduces the wastage etc.


As per shastras, Mangalya Dharanam is not part of the vaideeka rituals which is added in the later days.
So, we have to divide the total marriage ritual in to two major parts.
Part 1. Vaideeka Rituals
Part 2. Loukeeka Events
Two Muhurtha days to be selected as Best Muhurtha day for Part 1 and Fair Muhurtha day (with or without holiday) for Part 2.

Note: Very Close Relative and Unavoidable Friends circle only to be invited for Part 1.
All friends, interested and distance relatives to be invited only for Part 2.

Steps in Part 1: This can be done any where at a Temple or in Brides House or in Bridegrooms house or in a relative house having adequate space and facilities.
The total strength should not exceed 60 to 70 people.
Step 1 : The Vratam of boys side and the Jadhakadhi of girls side should be done at their house itself one or two days before the scheduled day.

Step 2 : Previous day evening Simple Nichayadhartham to be held after a temple dharshan with both parties.

Step 3 : Start 90 minutes before muhurtha time from Appa Koodai, Kasi yatra, Garlanding, Oonjal, Pidi everything to be completed

Step 4 : Ankuram, Prathisaram, Kannikadhanam, Panigrahanam, Sapthapathi, Udhvaha Homam till Poriyidudhal to be done within the muhurtha time without any disturbance.

Step 5 : Akshathai Asirvadham, Amman Asirvadham, Pandukkal Asirvadham, Perumal, Azhvar, Acharya Sambhavana everything can be completed within 4 to 5 hours.

Step 5 : All should a good muhurtha meals as per traditional way except the couple.

Step 5 : Evening Oupasana Arambam

Step 6 : Next day early morning Pravesa Homam Dhruva Arundhathi Dharshan and other rituals according to the date fixed for Part 2.

Note: Nalangu will be done on everyday evening to entertain the couple and others.

Part 2 :- This can be done at a huge choultry according to their wish.

Again the Garlanding, Oonjal, Pidi sutrudal can be done immediately coming to the stage in a good muhurtham
Mangalya dharanam should be done before the Oupasana Agni kept safe from Part 1 Marriage.
There will be some remaining rituals like SthalibhAga, Sesha Homa etc. Can be done within 60 minutes of time.
Again the Asirvadhams can be done by allowing everybody to give hands and bless with akshathai and gifts.

If required a reception - dinner can also be done on that day evening and on that day night itself the couples can have their first night function.

This will keep our tradition safe for many years.
Note: I have not planned it well, this is a first thought, it can be discussed with all Seniors and Vidwans to finalize the correct procedures.
dasan,
nvs

[P.S.NARASIMHAN]

Re: Marriages during nights.

Here my reply goes. Since bmbc feels that we need not discuss about other community ,I have removed certain sentence where I have referred about their marriage. I think bmbc will find it OK. It is suggested that our marriages may be devided into two parts. But it is mentioned in both the parts all that are being carried out now is to be carried out. Why? Are garlanding, pidi sutral, oonjal all important.? When part 2 rituals can be done within 60 minutes why should we wait for full one day. Vaideeka rituals are important than lowkeeka events which is nothing but thamaasha. As said a simple dinner according to brahmin customs and tradition is more than enough. The reception is not the responsibility of bride's side. If the groom' party wants let them arrange for it and bride's party may share some monetary expenses. The reception is a nonsensical affair as mentioned by Mr.V.Rajan, and a sheer waste of lot of food items. Go and see for yourselves ,you will be aghast to see more than 75% of the serves remain unused in the leaves.How many dishes a person male or female could consume? Just 5 or 6 items. Why 20/25 items .Why nuptial on the same day of marriage. This should be done only in groom's house.. The important thing is the whole marriage must be completed in one day and prominance must be given only to vaideeka rituals, and not for all other thamaasha events.

[radhavsam]

Re: Marriages during nights.

வேண்டுவதொன்றுண்டு அல்ல ஸ்வாமின் சொல்லுவதொன்றுன்று

[bmbcAdmin]

Re: Marriages during nights.

வேண்டுவதொன்றுண்டு அல்ல ஸ்வாமின் சொல்லுவதொன்றுன்று

அது திருவரங்கத்தமுதனார் சொன்னது
இது அடியேன் எம்பெருமானிடம் வேண்டுவது
ஆரம்பமும் மாற்றப்பட்டுள்ளது கவனிக்கவும்.