Aparam - Death ceremony discussions

[bmbcAdmin]

Above are the main category to discuss about Apram or Ashubham or death ceremony.
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NVS

[ramanuja]

Re: Aparam - Death ceremony discussions

Sri:
I do not know whether this query was answered before. I get the following doubts from the friends. When there is no issue (kids), after the death of one of spouses, should the living spouse perform monthly sraddham/masiyams, Aptikam and pratyAptikam? Some of the vadhyars suggest that after 13 days of rituals, there is no need for that. Because the family ended with both.

In case the mother is not living with son, should the mother perform pratyaptikam for the departed?

Who would the sraddham for the departed parent, if the couple did not have son (only daughters)? I thought the living spouse should perform sraddham?

The opinion changes between different bhruhaspathis.
dasan.

[R.Varadarajan]

Re: Aparam - Death ceremony discussions

My mother-in-law passed away recently o 1 April.
What are the things to be done from my side as my wife is the second daughter of my mother-in-law.
Subasweekaram is on 13th April.
Varadarajan

[bmbcAdmin]

Re: Aparam - Death ceremony discussions

Sri:
I do not know whether this query was answered before. I get the following doubts from the friends. When there is no issue (kids), after the death of one of spouses, should the living spouse perform monthly sraddham/masiyams, Aptikam and pratyAptikam? Some of the vadhyars suggest that after 13 days of rituals, there is no need for that. Because the family ended with both.

In case the mother is not living with son, should the mother perform pratyaptikam for the departed?

Who would the sraddham for the departed parent, if the couple did not have son (only daughters)? I thought the living spouse should perform sraddham?

The opinion changes between different bhruhaspathis.
dasan.

Sri:
Sorry I have missed to see this post some how.

The answer is so simple and delightful.
No need to do shradham ritual by ladies for their parents.
Because the vamsam chain is closing with the last departed one and hence no need to do rituals.
See my earlier postings also, I have stressed with several reasons that shradham is not done for the benefit of pitrus
and they do not require anything from that for their personal benefit.
They are the Devatas having the portfolio of blessing heirs for person who is doing rituals like shradham for them.
If the vamsam chain is closed, then there is no necessity of begging for heirs.
So, it is clear that there is no need to do shradham for pitrus not having sons.
See, and at the same time it is instructed as a duty for the grand son (daughter's son) should do the shradham
(not by the son in law).
Because, again while doing tharpanam everybody should do tharpanam for his mother side also starting from the fother of his mother.
Hence there is no break or imperfection in the system.
So,
No need to suspect our shastras for loop holes!
They are well knitted without conflicts and perfectly balanced than a physical balance!
No doubt
regs,
nvs

[R.Varadarajan]

Re: Aparam - Death ceremony discussions

Swamin,
I had sought some details regarding 13th day rites. You may see above.
Could you kindly look into it?
sincerely,
varadarajan

[bmbcAdmin]

Re: Aparam - Death ceremony discussions

My mother-in-law passed away recently o 1 April.
What are the things to be done from my side as my wife is the second daughter of my mother-in-law.
Subasweekaram is on 13th April.
Varadarajan

Sri:
On 10th day you have to give some amount as a little share of the "Dhathiyaradhana / Samaaradhanai" expenses.
If you have a daughter, some amount as a little share to prepare the "Peathi (grand daughter) Bhakshanams".
Nothing else.
They may buy new cloths to your family if possible.
regs,
nvs

[R.Varadarajan]

Re: Aparam - Death ceremony discussions

Thank you vey much Sir.
varadarajan

[ks17soundar]

Re: Aparam - Death ceremony discussions

My Chittappa expired last week. My father is alive. Since 10th day is coming on Friday somebody told that shaving has to be done on 9th day itself. Is it correct. Also plz clarify that my father is elder ,weather he also to perform kuzhi tharpanam.

[bmbcAdmin]

Re: Aparam - Death ceremony discussions

Sri:
Yes, there is a custom of shaving will be done on previous day if the 10th falls on a Friday.
Whether elder or younger, the kuzhi tarpanam should be done on 10th day of a pangalis death.
The elder should avoid shaving only.